|I m making a part of me immortal by writing it down. Ig: @a_flightless_bird__|
Do you ever feel
that the noise is too much?
that everything should stop
It's alot to process,
alot to take in,
one after another,
it keeps coming
one after another
before you heal,
before you know what to feel
before you know how to deal.
it just has to end,
to cut it's cords,
to stab its heart
to bleed itself cold.
stop ! just stop!
let there be no voice.
no sound. no noise.
let's just greive
from dusk to dawn.
let's just be.
way to live.
Let's not defend
Let it be the end.
Can I allow myself one cheat moment?
How long before I absolutely have to let it go?
Or M I too late?
That ship has sailed?
M I stuck here forever?
In this deserted island?
Or is it just in mind?
There is a silver line,
We are racing to cross,
how I made it this far?
I don't know,
Where to go?
This or that?
Two roads diverged in a wood,
I know you have heard this one.
But what happens?
What they say, the ones who took most travelled by?
Did they make friends on the way?
What they say?
The one who took less travelled by?
Was it worth it?
Was it good?
Humanity has collapsed,
All that is there is hatred,
In words, in papers ,in news,
In posts, videos and views.
The cruelty in judgement,
Turning errors into crimes,
Not giving a damn not a dime!
Brutality is the new concept,
Violence is the new nature.
We are painting a picture
With blood stains and torn skins,
Maybe the time has come, to pay for our sins.
Turning against each other
Is the last nail in the coffin.
So we prey on the weaks
And humiliate the supposed inferiors,
We choke the rebels and
Hang the good warriors
We seize the control and
Decide their last breaths.
As our sensitively shreds!
Venom in the jokes,
Disgust in the voices,
Wrong and wrong
Are the only choices.
Nature has ...
I must say, you have a certain way of writing that I can not describe. It is very soothing to read your letters. It's very, ummm, courteous or chivalrous, I don't know, can not get an exact term.
There's something about moon lit faces,
There's something about the person beneath the stars,
a kind of tenderness,
There's something that darkness reveals,
something real and true.
something about me and something about you!
The more I deal with my heart break the more I understand her desire to rip the bandaid off and feel the tinge.
As I go through your folder in my gallary, and walk through our memories, I understand the need of feeling that pain.
I understand the worth of it.
I dig deeper into our chats to see old versions of us, just like her finger nail digging in her wounds. And as she sanitizes her hand, I wipe my tears off and try to feel a little better, I cover it with empty words, she puts a bandaid on it.
I get it, I get how she is scared that something so small, so many within her, are conspiring to kill her,
I am scared something inside me , about me killed everything between us.
And as she garg...
Whosoever said that,
He got it all wrong
No it doesn't come and go in waves,
It comes as a storm,
And leaves no stone unturned,
Whosoever said that,
He got it all wrong
It comes as a storm
It rains heavy
It growls scary
The ache glows
And it leaves a screaming silence,
And never filling hole.
Not in waves,
It comes as a storm
And you stand in the middle
With everything revolving around,
Everything you believed in pieces
And you wait for it to come close
There has to be a process,
Some steps that can be taken,
Atleast some notes I cam refer to?
There should be some guidelines,
Or a crash course maybe?
If you did it, you can tell!
The process of unloving.
Or Is it a test?
Because I seem to fail
Everytime I try.
As your memories take a dig at my heart,
I open my laptop once again.
As hollow and empty it might feel, my work get me through the day and exhaust me enough to go through the night most of the time.
When I lie in bed, i get flooded with so many possibilities of us, so many options and questions and scenarios.
I cross the flood, almost drowning and fight for sleep.
Somewhere I and my heart have come to a compromise, my heart gets to torture me with your memories and I get to not go through this again with one more person,
My heart do not get to beg you to stay and I do not get any peace, not a single day.
I put everything down in words and it all sounds like crap,
The writer in me struggling...
I made a square cut in the calendar, took out today, shredded it into pieces ,in the memory of us.
All we need is to be human enough to accept and appreciate the differences between individuals and not define, characterise or limit anyone on basis of what we think they should be or want them to be.
Losing me will not be that big of a deal,
but a series of little things,
you will stop receiving my funny anecdotes from my day to day struggle,
no one will compliment you on your smile,
you'll miss my excitement about your happy moments, your birthday, your travel plans.
you'll miss my warm worries, my hot scoldings and my mini pamperings.
you'll miss me giggling through emojis on your stupid lame ass jokes.
you'll remember me when somebody mention friends,
or while watching Joey fell for rachel.
when you'll see someone wearing wingadium leviosa
you'll miss the subtle flirtery, the unadulterated conversations.
you'll miss your mentions in my poems.
losing me won't be a process,
it'll be in o...
It's 12:56 am
and I feel claustrophobic in my room,
in my own skin,
in my own bed,
from my own breath.
i feel the still darkness, weaving my hair around my neck,
i can feel it tightening inside my throat,
a feeling of drowning, where is my boat?
it's unclear, the vision!
dizzy, my head!
my shadow, afraid.
i feel my nerves throbbing
and there's a tingling of pain,
somewhere moving all over my body
like hands feeling me up.
I feel awake. aware. alert.
I want to walk out,
out of the bed, the sad,
the room, the skin,
not letting the darkness win,
it's cold and freezing ,my legs!
my heart! my courage! my strength!
icy chills all over my back,
world has suddenly gone all black.
it's all still, qui...
Recently heard someone talking about mental illness. It made me wonder, how casually we use such words in any conversation.
Somehow sad has been replaced with depressed.
We all might feel sad, but we are not depressed!
It's all the game of weightage , to add weights to your suffering, you use the extreme of any stage.
and after all, we all are PRs of our pain.
how proudly we take pride in our suffering,
how superior we feel when we talk about suffering more than others.
I won't put the definition of depression on a platter because, IDK.. only the person suffering can talk about that multi- headed monster that crawl in your mind and suck on the good stuff, dementor is what I feel closest I ...
Ar the end it comes to,
what you let yourself be defined by,
It could be your fuck ups, your sucesses,
your belief system.
You could just be your failures or your humility.
I, I choose to be defined by the way I fall in love, head over heel with all I have.
Here we are again, together in my head.
Needless to say I miss you.
I'll say everything to you here, where you will never look for my words.
Love, what is it? Love? How do you know if it is love?
After a good or an average number of relationships it's hard to actually say, no this one is different because each one is different and same when it comes to an end.
And people like me do not want any of it to come to an end no matter how good or toxic it is.
Ours was good, if you are wondering.
Then again, do you ever wonder? About us?
So, when I say I know the love I have for you is different, I may not be able to justify it in words but I know what I feel.
I feel this emptiness inside m...
You want the black spot, you can't go all white, all good all perfect.
you want the smell of alcohol, cigarette and sex.
you crave the perverted desires, in the lusty attires.
you are heaven by day, hell by night.
you can't deny it no matter how much you fight.
it drives you insane and makes you mad.
but the all so good is vanilla in taste and baby,
you like chocoberry, the sweet sour taste.
you take your coffee bitter with extra sugar..
you paint your lips pale but eyes all dark.
neckline low and skirt thigh length..
glasses on face, laughter evil.
talk dirty and look civil.
you are a combination of dream and desire,
you fall for the one who screams trouble
and want the one who adores and ca...
I wish you climb out of the hole of stereotypes that says "how a man should be" and share the burden of responsibilities, the bill at the restaurants, the validation to be good drivers and the freedom to walk home safely.
May we climb the ladder of future hand in hand and strive for a better world.
I wish you the audacity to cry, to feel, to be soft and delicate too,
I wish you don't get stuck with the darks and wear the colors of your choice.
I wish your sexual preferences, your hobbies and your built do not define how more or less masculine you are.
I wish we destroy those boundaries that seperate us and restrict us to step into each other's shoes.
I wish we find a better defin...
I keep searching for things that will not remind me of you but even within me I keep finding you.
I check your sunsigns
and look for hints,
try to understand,
you are still like a mystery to me.
our pictures together are still so perfect,
they speak to me in memories.
I try very hard not to think these thoughts
and I fail.
you said I should
stop making it all about you,
I am a person too,
I am a person who prioritised you
and treated you with the attention
you deserved in my life.
I won't say I made you the sun my
earth revolves around but I made my day and night as per your rise and set.
maybe I wasn't doing my 50, I took over and overdid it.
The blame game is something we never played but yet I always lost.
you say it's not me it's you and here
I feel punished for sins you say...
The hurt will never stop,
It'll just become a part of survival,
another scar of pride,
another pillar of strength,
another strain in the smile ,
another crack in the voice.
The hurt, they say is a part of life;
so is poison,
And a blood stained knife.
No blood, no foul?
It isn't any worth if it's not physical, the pain?
Heartbreak feels like heartattack is just an attention seeking phrase,
You weren't raised to be a nutcase.
Suck it up, keep it all in,
Throw it in your imaginary dustbin.
And believe that the hurt will stop,
be a fool and go on!
Hurts like hell is another embellished phrase
You weren't raised to be a nutcase.
I walk out of a fairytale into a hurricane,
They told me it's just life,
Hitting you hard no matter how low you dive,
I left both of my glass slippers behind
And cut off the long hair,
Took off my mermaid tail
And took a big apple bite.
Because I have got no chills tonight!
Let it twist ,
Let is swirl,
Go round and round and throw everything off,
A well written tale, publically flop!
All the fairytale bliss,
I no longer miss.
In the hurricane home,
Careless I roam.
Life can get too much,
Life can weigh too much,
I get it,
I get that feeling of escape,
Feeling that you can leave some of the weight,
Maybe leave someone behind,
Someone you know will stay,
Someone you want to come back to,
Someone you know will stay.
I get it and yet,
It's too much of a pain,
I don't want to hate,
To feel this menace.
After all, it was I who said,
I can be whoever you want
So if that someone is me,
Let that be.
Except it the grave night,
When nothing feels right,
I find myself thinking,
If ever i had to make that choice,
I can say this without blinking,
I'll give up on anything but you.
My mind is a mess,
Something has broken,
I feel the pieces, they hurt.
I want to lie down
In his t-shirt
And cry myself to sleep,
Not the clichèd tub of
Alot of sour candies,
And a cup of hot tea.
I feel it burning inside me,
I can taste venom on my lips.
I want to hit something so bad!
I have a slideshow of memories in my head, driving me crazy!
I want my hands tied,
And all attempts to reach you to fail.
I have a series of questions to ask
But answered none!
I use comedy as my defense,
I laugh and crack jokes,
I taunt and I self mock!
Nothing brings peace,
My mind is a mess
I feel terrible, less human!
Like a dobby of this cr...
How many more nails do you have?
How many more till its the final one?
It is an empty coffin,
It will be an empty grave.
Because what's inside has already died
And it will rott away till you reach your end.
You pay attention, don't you.
Avoidance was never your game.
You watch the color fading away from the face,
You watch the eyes, looking down.
You watch the sudden hysteria in the voice till it go silent.
You watch the raised pace till the footsteps disappear.
You see its what the venom does to a person,
It's like a hand around the neck, choking it.
Its like an open wound, draining the blood out.
Drop by drop,
Nail by nail,
Bite by bite.
The lost fight.
I am not fighting anymore,
I am ...
Last night, my anxiety apologized.
my anxiety said sorry for driving you away,
she said she put those thoughts in my head and waited for them to become the reality,
she said she made me believe I am not worth it, who would want to be with me ?
and waited for my insecurity to creep in and make it all worse.
my insecurity and anxiety are friends.
So, they keep repeating every word you ever said to deduce different meanings and they choose the worst possible one to fit it in my head.
my hope struggled only to be told that he should know better!
for my happiness it was the final nail,
my strength was tore between fighting them or dealing with the damage?
my sanity? she and I both know she's fragi...
I believe your gut knows, even before it has happened you get that feeling in your stomach and you spend a long time fighting wih tears and the sorrow and then it happens and you get the feeling that how could you not see it coming . It's over before it's over.
When you know it is what it is what made you think it would change this time?
"Stupid fucking moronic heart!"