It's so exhausting and frustrating trying to be yourself and the person you love the most keeps pushing you back in the closet.
"They say don't let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
But when I'm all alone, they show up on their own
'Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don't play by the rules
They say "Just push them down, just fight them harder
Why would you give up on it so soon?"
So angels, angels please just keep on fighting
Angels don't give up on me today
'Cause the demons they are there, they just keep biting
'Cause inner demons just won't go away
So angels please, hear my prayer
Life is pain, life's not fair
So angels please, please stay here
Take the pain, take the fear
They say it won't be hard, they can't see the battles in my heart
But when I turn away
A sólo seis días para tomar una decisión, me pregunto si... ¿seré capaz de poner mis pies firmes en la tierra y decirle ese 26 que ya no voy a continuar y que pienso seguir mi canino o si le diré lo que realmente quiero y deseo decirle pero no se si me conviene? "Lo mucho que la pienso, quiero y deseo. Lo hermosa que es y que en cierta manera, es la única persona que me hace temblar con su llamada telefónica, algún mensaje que ya no es tan frecuente o su simple y genuina manera de sacarme de lo que estoy haciendo sólo por atenderla". Son muchas palabras pero en el momento exacto, no piensas en nada y lo que estas supuesto a decir no sale de tu boca. Es como si tus cuerdas vocale...
These winds are very much like you
play with my hair they tease me through
Give that gentle shiver like you do
tell me somewhere there you miss me too
I didn't see her color of
the skin to fall in the love,
I saw the purity of her heart to fall in love.
I'm just tired of everyone and everything
Just want to be left alone, in the silence
Don't pity me, for me being all by myself
It's what I choose, it's what I embrace
Don't offer me help, because I don't want it
I'm better off like this, keeping the peace
Resting my mind, and recovering my soul
Just let me be me, that's all what I need
Sentí pena por mi aquel momento que empecé a detestar la piel en la que habito...
Las estrías en mis muslos, la piel colgante en mis brazos, mi cabello rizado, mis tobillos delgados en comparación al resto de mi cuerpo...
Al final entendí que soy luz y soy vida, siempre y cuando implique a cualquiera aparte de mi.
Pareciera que con cada mensaje de amor propio que comparto pierdo el mio
Que con cada mirada de odio frente al espejo pierdo un poco de mi, de mi alma, de mi esencia, de lo que me hace fuerte...
¿Cómo llenar este vacío que yo misma he provocado?
¿Cómo no mirar mi reflejo y sentir que me he fallado?
Angry. At everyone around me, but most of all, at myself. I can't stand the thought that I'm not moving or that I keep putting myself through all this pain and misery. Angry at the Jane Doe I see when I look into the mirror. Angry that I won't let myself rest or even get some sleep. Angry at my insecurity and how less ain't think of myself. Angry that I'm not taking care of myself and that I can't give myself some slack. Angry, I'm so very angry. And I'm not sure wether to accept it or hide myself away from the rest of the world.
- Are they better of without me?
Not said, showed
Not more, enough
Not better, tenderly
I could not love you any more
HE LOVED ME ENOUGH TO LET ME GO…
I HOPE TO MEET HER SOMEDAY…
I HOPE SAYING MY FACE AGAIN…
SHE HAS THE SAME SMILE…
WHICH SHE HAD WHEN WE KNEW EACH OTHER…
TIME IS THE BIGGEST ENEMY YOU CAN EVER COME ACROSS..
IT'S LIKE THE POISON THE KILLS YOU..
SO SLOW THAT BY THE TIME YOU REALISE IT..
IT’S TOO LATE
ONE DAY SHE CAME…
AND THE OTHER DAY SHE LEFT…
JUST LIKE THAT…
ALL SHE DID WAS..
LEFT A NOTE..
STATING HOW THINGS ARE GOING WRONG…
HOW WE HAVE LOST FONDNESS WITH EACH OTHER…
SHE SAID I GUESS IT’S JUST BAD PHASE…
WE NEED A LITTLE TIME..
I NEED SOME SPACE FOR MYSELF TO THINK…
WHAT’S GOING WRONG..
LITTLE TIME YEAH!
ALL I KNEW IN THAT LITTLE TIME OF HER’S
SHE WILL FIND...
Today i see a warm day, feeling much more myself again. I’m still lost, but now i’m lost while waking up each morning with the voice of people that made me who i was before.
Lost but still fighting to get to that light of tomorrow. It feels less and less colder. I see beauty like how life should be. My heart is still heavy but slowly, it feels as though it started fighting and carrying oneself.
Hard yes! It is still hard but mornings seems brighter and laughter seems more genuine. Nights doesn’t seem so cold anymore. Pain seems to slowly heals itself. And mind seems a lot clearer now.
It was dark before but now darkness doesn’t scare me anymore. And colds doesn’t seem to make me sh...
I am really broke to a great extent.
How can someone does not value the person who really love them with their whole heart beyond all boundaries....
I stand and I sit, I stand then Sit !
Trying to stop myself from falling into this Pit !
I preach that knowledge is Power !
But one life changing event can turn it all Sour !
The choices we make in life truly affect those around us !
I mean for fucking Christ sake you weren’t even driving a Bus !
Why were you even in that Lane ?
Don’t try to hide it, you are the only one to Blame !
Now I sit here powerless, hoping my father is Ok !
Never realizing this was how I was gonna end my Day !
And hear I am showing you a side of me that no one knows and you go and judge me.
To whoever needs to hear this
Everyone at some point in their life has felt less than, unwanted, undeserving, unappreciated and so much worse. I have first hand experience with all of that and I want nothing but to help those in that time of darkness.
I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. If you ever feel any of these things or more, please please please reach out to loved ones or even strangers willing to listen. I am one of those strangers. I along with so many others are willing to help you find a happy ending that you deserve.
Do you hate how
I give you my love and still nothing is given
Even when you deserve it
And no I'm not listening
But still in your heart you keep wishing
And the harder you try
It's me that your missing
I confide and lie to everybody else
I hide and lie to even myself
I find myself reminiscing
Even from the beginning
Shit just gets me tripping
It's you that im missing
And no one knows i have all these feelings
and now everytime someone comes close
I keep my distance
You feel you need to be loved
So I'll be that person..
Next thing its me that your cursing
You remember when
Now its been a long time since
and days like thi...
My missing I,
I don't know how should I start this letter. Perhaps, I'll just ask some things about you though I know you won't respond. How are you?Today's the anniversary when we first met. Didn't really liked you that much then. But you seem to be so charming and kind that's why I haven't noticed how I let my defenses down. Just to share with you. I know you don't remember and you'd rather not.
I hope this letter to be the last one I'll write for you. Though I've recorded some clips I wish to send you. Either of those, I know you wouldn't spare some of your time. For I remember the last one I sent, has been ignored. No! I didn't write this letter to list down all the shortcomings we had...
Flying through the colours of the story of our time.
We made one another happy, I was yours and you were mine.
A smile here and there, a smile everywhere.
Places we travelled we made our mark.
You followed me to every place: some happy and some dark.
At one point the music played but time for us stopped.
I felt my heart beating, and felt yours dropped.
You froze, held my face in your hands and kissed me hard.
In that moment, tensions released. I let down my guard.
I trusted you...
You were my prince in shining armour saving my day.
Until the time came, on a day so sad, me you betray.
My heart grew cold and shattered into pieces of ice.
Love was a gamble baby, and d...
The risk of not finding you. Of not being able to see you anymore.
It's been many years and I still don't tell you how much I love you.
The adventure of this rollercoaster ride called life,
took us further away more than I would like.
It has been a long time.
I'm old for these things. But I don't care about anything, not even look ridiculous.
I bought you 55 red roses. The color of passion that was never matched.
And I'll try one more time. Only for the pleasure that gives me seeing you again.
Surely the end of an unrequited love.