I am certainly learning the art of patience. The state is taking their time deciding if I am eligible for disability or not. I have only been waiting 4 years.
More doctors appointments coming up this fall. I am also beginning a 10 week microdosing regiments with psilocybin (magic Mushrooms). Back in December it took me from suicidal to passionate. I have now gradually (with doctor’s help) gotten off of two anti depressants and two kinds of pain pills. I am freeing myself from Big Pharma and feeling so much better, gradually.
If I don’t get disability though, I’m not sure where I’ll be able to live, how I’ll even get through any more. I’ve just been hanging on, barely. 2 months, why does it...
The world is mostly like pancake, my dear.
It’s only exception is its shape.
but there are parts sweet, salty and bland.
There are parts unchartered. There are parts consumed and never given back.
Late that night I saw this man,
Covered in what I would like to call,
An unwelcoming shroud.
Huddled under the stairway,
Near the absent-minded neon sign,
He imbibed this world
With a pinch of his solution.
His beady eyes trying to interpret,
Each person that gushed out
In front of him, from the lifeline
Of this morbid city.
I stopped there and met his glance,
Vacant enough to give me a sense
Of strange belonging.
He looked at me, smiled and sniffed
From the piece of rag,
Crumpled up in his palms,
Let out a deep sigh and gurgling laughter.
And I am sure I heard him say.
Look all you want but I have
The solution that you search for.
With every sip of every drop,
my horizon begins to shrink.
Reality with fantasy
become more blurred
with every drink.
I got complacent.
Apologies, it's been a while.
The 24th of April, the year 2018-
My last drink. I struggled, we all do. Success.
I got complacent. I stopped struggling, stopped thinking.
It snuck up on me.
Isn't it funny how that happens? You can see it coming but only when it's too late.
Much too late.
I'm starting over. Again.
It's exhausting. It's depressing. It feels like failure. It feels like I'm worthless; can't be normal. But I feel. That's worth something, right?
I'll keep struggling, though. I'm told it gets better so I'm holding on to that... I think that's called being "hopeful."
We had just started talking,
And I did not realise when
She became my favourite song
She became a habit,
A drug, a necessity from a luxury,
The warmth in my breath, the morning mist,
The pathway I know like the back of my hand, a cigarette at night,
The everyday sounds
Cutlery and crockery clinking
Pots and pans tinkering
Aroma of spices
Splashing of water
Bickering of barista
Vague and hurried good mornings
Jingling of wind chimes hanging in doorway
Shutting doors and whispering maids
Some no sense songs in the background
Makes me concentrate well
Makes sense of every word I write
Or scribble even on a paper napkin
"Something has got to change" she yells at him. "I can't take it anymore. It has gone too far. No more. NO MORE!! Babe we're walking tonight because you totalled our only car three days ago! Not only that but I almost lost you. How you walked out of that wreck without a scratch is a miracle. Well you know they say it's usually the drunk driver who survives the crash because their bodies aren't so stiff. I guess that's what happened to you. So no, I don't want to stop at the bar right now. We're going home sober".
By Kinky Eskimo
My love for you
Became watered down
Just like your vodka
After the ice had melted
Had you just stuck with
Your milk and coke concoction
I would have had the chance
To say "Good-bye"
There would have been
No need just yet
Because you very well
Might still be here
Among us now. JD
Here* Father Part XXXX
#WateredDown #JulyFalls #PoetryChallenge
i can live half of my life with coffee.
live with whom gonna make it for me :)
Emptiness in heart ,
Ink spilled in paper.
A broken heart,
A mug full of coffee,
Describe a poet
Barish ki bundain girti hi zameen par or bhiga deti hai dharti ke daaman ko....
Bundain barish ki zinda kar jati hai mitti ki sondhi si khushu ko....
zindgi shuru hoti hai mitti se or mil jati hai usi me hi kahin....
Bejaan to mitti bhi hoti hai par zindgi mil jati hai usay bundon se miltay hi....
" ehsaas zindgi ka is kadar bejaan hai pyar k bina or muquammal hai pyar k miltay hi "
😄Jaan hai mitti😘
😘 pyar hi barish ki bundain😍
An addiction can be anything that drives you crazy, bad or good.
Log kehte hai dil toot kar juda nahi karta....
par logo ko usi se khelne me maza kyu ata hai....
:( :'( :( :_(
Khuda tune ye dil banaya hi kyu gar tuje todna hi tha....
naseeb me likha na jaane kya tunay jo juda ussay hona hi tha....
darshk banke dekhte reh gaye hum or dil fisal k gir gaya....
tukde bhi hue itne ki dil bhi ab dil na raha....
socha ki koshish karte hai jod de isko....
par tukde hue itne ki koshish koshish hi bn gai....
hath lagaya tukde ko to zakhm hi usne de diya....
khafa bhi kya hotay hum ussay dil bhi naadan apna hi tha....
💓 Dil samhal ja zara, phir mohobbat karne chala hai tu 😘
💕 love is a most beautiful feel in this wor...