I feel like I don’t know myself. I’m unfamiliar. My body is the same yet my mind has changed. I’m different. Not a bad different. Simply changed.
I feel like a stranger. Unknown. I feel like I need to relearn my own world. My life. My place. All is different yet it’s not.
Where did I go?
What did I do?
Not one single, solitary thing. Life has happened. More the circle of it.
Growth. Perspective. Death.
I’m not the same nor do I think I would ever choose to be. This me, hurt and broken but aware and happy.
It is a good thing, no longer a stranger.
(People call me a mad bitch because I take instant decisions and I don't care because I know what I'm doing)
Uncle: Looks like you love writing letters to people. You didn't even keep me informed about the decision you took. I'm disappointed in you.
Me: Hmm I act on my impulse. I felt I should do it. I typed that letter at 3 in the morning.
Uncle: People crave for power. You stepped down happily. Something is wrong with you. I need to take you to a psychiatrist.
Me: Exactly. People crave for power and when you don't give them power, they don't let others be happy. That's why I took this decision. I gave power to the one who has been craving for it.
Uncle: She'll mess up everything. Stude...
Friend: Girl.. You're playing with fire. Beware! Why do you want to go against him? He doesn't spare anyone who tries proving him wrong.
Me: Because he's been unjust to most people. I can't let him continue that.
Friend: Have you lost it? He's deadly! He'll go all his way out to duck your happiness.
Me: I know.
Friend: And you still want to risk it all?
Me: Don't worry girl. Don't you remember what the astrologer said? I was born to destroy evil.
Friend: I see. I think you're evil yourself hehe:)
Me: hehe. Maybe.
Friend: Jokes apart.. Be careful. He's not entered your den. You've entered his. You have to be extra careful. That too you're a female!!!!!
Me: Jesus loves me and He will s...
As a rose, I stood tall and of certain distinctive color....
Roses were meant to be red
And a symbol of love and adored,
But I still had to strive for this color.
Is this my presence....
My unusual color made me stand out from the rest of the red roses.
The moon shone down upon the rose
for the Beautiful rose to rise above its tears,
As the petals turned a different hue,
the lonely rose wept softly
The soft whispering winds shook their head...
The Weeping Rose looked up at the wind, as the wind ran its fingers over the petals
It simply smiled and said
"I want to save the most beautiful flowers and keep them for myself. And you are the most beautiful ...
His words have the capacity to heal...
Me: Oh I'm sad:(
Uncle: Where is that rope? I'm looking for it. Can't find it in my house.
Me: Which rope?
Uncle: The one people use to hang themselves when they're dejected.
Me: Hahahahahaha. This is too much.
Uncle: Why are you laughing? I thought you were sad and you wanted to die.
Me: Oh did I say I want to die? I only told you that I'm sad.
Uncle: I see. So you don't want to die?
Uncle: That's the spirit. Are you still sad?
Me: I think I'm not.
Uncle: Life is too short, child. Enjoy it.
Uncle: Live every moment.
Uncle: Like the way you are living now. Though you're sad you keep hogging every half an hour, ...
Uncle: For God and heaven's sake don't keep so serious.
Me: You don't help me at all. You let me face it all alone.
Uncle: God helps those who help themselves.
Me: Don't aggravate me. I'm already pissed off.
Uncle: Haha All this is part of life. Forgive her. Let go.
Me: She cursed me.
Uncle: Take it as a blessing.
Me: No. I take it as a curse only.
Uncle: Chill. Yes I let you face it alone because I know you can handle it.
Me: I'm going off my head.
Uncle: You'll be fine.
Me: I hope so.
The new Melody (Angela)
Me: I had a weird dream last night.
Me: You were dying.
Uncle: haha. Last evening I asked you for a favour. We discussed life and death. That's why you dreamt of it. Forget it. Don't bother.
Me: But dreams have implications.
Uncle: Come on child. Don't act stupid. Forget it. I'm still alive.
Me: Oh yeah. You are very much alive.
Uncle: You must have been thinking of all that I spoke last evening before you went to bed. Hence the dream..
Me: No. I didn't.
Uncle: Okay. I'm going to die now.
Me: What am I going to do then?
Uncle: Cry over my dead body. What else would you do? Idiot that you are. Get ready and go to work.
Uncle: Discussing anything with you i...
Uncle: Girl.. I want you to do me a favour. Will you?
Me: Jesus! It's going to rain today. You're asking me for a favour? You.. you.. egoistic human!
Uncle: Hmm will you do it?
Me: Why not? You've been looking after me since years. I will. What is it? I'll do it right away.
Uncle: I don't want you to do it right away. It's something you have to do after I die.
Me: What? What are you talking? Are you feeling like you're going to die. Any such feelings?
Uncle: Who knows.. future is uncertain. I don't have such feelings. Yes. After I'm gone.. I want you to...
( He narrates the whole thing)
Me: Thank God! You don't have such feelings. Okay. I'll do it.
Uncle: Thanks girl.
Me: How sure a...
Day 5 at work
"Humble face" waved at me when I was moving towards the rest room. I was in no mood to smile at her. "Monkey face" and "Fox face" had pissed me off to such an extent. I was cursing my existence. Also cursing my uncle for making me promise that I won't quit my job. Who is to tell that old man that I'm suffering? He thinks I can't handle situations. Only the one who has stomach ache knows where and how much it aches. No point in talking to him.
My conversation with "Humble face"
Humble face: Angela.. what happened to you dear.. Angela? Why look sad?
Me: I'm going off my head. I can't cure this problem. Can't even endure it. Kill me.
Humble face: I understand you girl. Nobo...
Me (thinking): Why does he seem angry?
Me: Hmm.. What happened? Anything wrong? You seem upset?
Uncle: What mischief are you upto?
Me: What did I do?
Uncle: Not ashamed?
Me: Of what?
Uncle: Of following someone's husband on the road. Not ashamed?
Me: Who told you that? No.. I never followed anyone.
Uncle: I'll give you a sound kicking if you tell lies. Why did you go after him?
Me: To catch the thief.
Uncle: I see. You have no other work?
Me: I have. Why are you shouting at me? I told you.. I had gone to catch the thief.
Uncle: Quit teaching and join the police department. I'll tap your teeth out.
Me: Who told that I followed him?
Uncle: The thief himself.
(When you find humour in a difficult situation, you win)
Me: Aunty.. I have a doubt. Is your hubby catching butterflies or you?
Aunty: You FATTED woman! I hired you to catch a thief and you're targeting me only now.
Aunty: Did you find him?
Me: I didn't spot his car in that locality. I spotted your two wheeler there. Vehicle number 7***7. Is that not yours? What were you doing there when you were supposed to be at work at this hour?
Aunty: Idiot.. it wasn't me. It was my hubby! He went on my vehicle today.
Me: What? He's very clever ah.
Aunty: Hmm cleverer than you think.
Me: Then we have to try some other way out.
Aunty: I don't know what to do.
Me: Shall I trap him?
Me: You know what... Ever since I got acquainted with you, I'm beginning to feel I'm 70 years old. Ufff! Who is interested in knowing what happened at that company where you worked some 45 years ago? Narrate some interesting stories.
Uncle: What kind of stories do you like?
Me: Like... something related to space and aliens.
Uncle: I was right when I told you that you don't belong to planet earth. You just proved it.
Me: Okay.. let's go back to the story you were narrating. I don't like to listen to half stories. Complete it.
Uncle: Where did I stop?
Me: Hmm... some 3000 workers were protesting against the management and they called you an asshole.
Uncle: What rubbish? Did I tell y...
Aunty: Hi Girl. How's you?
Me: I'm drowning. Could you save me?
Aunty: I'm drowning too.
Me: hahaha. Let's drown together.
Aunty: I need your help.
Me: To help you drown quicker?
Aunty: Girl.. I want to put an end to this. I've had enough with him. Just because of my little son, I'm putting up with that man.
Me: If I'm not wrong, ages ago I asked you to divorce him but you were afraid of what society will think. Please continue to drown. I can't help.
Aunty: Hey.. don't say that. I can't take it any longer.
Me: Hmm.. saturation point?
Aunty: I want you to...
Me: Be your private detective?
Aunty: Exactly. You have to catch him off guard.
Aunty: Be careful. He might harm...
I wish I could write you,
Like trouble from afar,
But you’re always too close,
The way flames drench the logs and cackle,
Whispered over and over
From a place I can’t see,
I’ve tried to outrun you,
But you’re somehow right beside me,
Always smiling that smile,
As though you know my reasons for looking away,
But how could you?
Unless they’re your reasons too....
I all along thought that I had more enemies that friends because of my "against societal norms" attitude. But this conversation I had with one of coworkers who I hardly talk to made my day.
Me: How are you? I heard you got a baby. Girl or boy?
Coworker: Girl. I'm so happy.
Me: That's a great news.
Coworker: I'm happier because she was born on April 4.. the day you were born too. I want her to grow up and be like you.
P.S- Oh my God! I thought nobody cared if I existed or not. I was happy to know there are some people who like my rebellious nature. You never know who really likes you. I'm on cloud nine.
The new Melody (Angela)
Him: You're back! I hope you've not dropped in to tender your resignation for the second time.
Me: Haha. That's ruled out. I did it once and you turned it down.
Him: So you've come with a different problem now?
Me: I stopped complaining long ago.
Him: How did that change occur in an ill tempered female like you? I still cannot forget how you were yelling at me a few months ago. I'm your boss. You can't talk to me in that manner. You should have patience.
Me: I'm sorry for what happened but you should not be reminding of it every time you look at me.
Him: So.. what now?
Me: I want to step down. My health is deteriorating.
Him: You started again! You always think negative. Noth...
Mom: I don't mind you accusing me of not loving you. Why did you fall out with your best friend " N"?
Me: That's not your problem, mom. I don't owe you an explanation.
Mom: I heard you make that girl weep always?
Me: You might have also heard that she makes me weep too. Didn't you hear that?
Mom: God knows what. You can't get along with anyone. Just like your father.
Me: Don't drag my father into this. He's dead. Let him rest in peace.
Mom: I have to. You've inherited all his traits. Anger, stubbornness, unforgiving, grumbling.. just like him.
Me: And.... what else? So you're telling me that my dad had no good qualities in him?
Mom: Did I say that? He was a good man. Just that he was ...
Me: Good morning Old man
Uncle: Good morning. I've bought something for you.
Uncle: You're not asking me what it is?
Me: Oh it must be something I don't like. What else can I expect from an oldie like you.
Uncle: You're very FATTED. Okay I'll tell you.. I've bought you a new pressure cooker.
Uncle: What's that laugh for?
Me: I already have one and I've never touched it. Why another?
Uncle: That's why I bought you another. This one is smaller. Try cooking your favorite sweet today.
Me: God save the woman who married you. No wonder she visits you less often.
Me: I can imagine what you've been buying her every alternate day. Pressure...