Most of us are in a battle with our demons,
Still learning how to undo years of emotional pain,
Still learning to rise above the triggers,
Still trying to become the best versions of ourselves.
The first time I was touched inappropriately I was 10.
I was with my mom, in a very very crowded BEST Bus and a man rubbed his hands over my body.
I was scared,
BEST busses still scare me. I'm 24 years old now.
The second time, I was 14.
I was at a local cafe with friends, and the waiter groped me.
I was sacred. Again.
I went home and I took a shower, tried to wash him off me.
At 24, I still avoid going to that cafe.
A man decided to jerk off while staring at me in the middle of a very busy street.
I am still scared.
My first instinct should not be fear. But it is.
I know, I should'nt have to be panicking when these things happen, that I have to fight them
I know I have to stand...
Tired so hard,
She was always too little,
Sometimes too much,
Just never enough.
He was different,
They said he was psychotic.
Not everything that weighed him down,
Was his to carry,
Everyone else - Just Words
He was poetry.
He never said he was leaving, not even a goodbye
I wish I saved him, told him I loved him,
Tell him that time heals all wounds and it was going to be all right,
Maybe then he never would've died,
In life I loved him dearly, In death I love him still
In my heart he holds place, no one can ever fill.
After years have gone by,
This ache still builds up in my chest,
How could I have missed the signs, I'm sure he left some by,
Time hasn't healed the pain, hasn't even let the guilt pass by,
They think I'm okay, that I am doing well,
But as the evening sets, I embrace my personal hell,
Every night, I cry for the one I loved and lost,
Looking for comfort only in the pillow muffling my cries...
If you'd let me,
I would walk with you to the top of the mountain so you could finally, after all of this time, see the magical view, you've lost sight of
If you'd let me,
I would try to gently put all of your pieces back together,
If you'd let me,
I'd make all your burdens mine to carry,
I'd try to share some of the weight of this world, you carry
If you'd let me,
I'd love you with everything I have
Isn't it scary?
Most of our lives, most of our energy, we've spent on not giving up, on being strong, on just surviving.
Sometimes to a point where we loose sight & reason as to why we're doing it in the first place.
Now we just keep fighting,
We just exist, that is literally the only thing we know.
When do we get to a point where we just have to stop?
When did being happy get overrated?
There is truly nothing more gratifying than a love that accepts your chaos just like it embraces your tranquility
Take a minute darling.
You're not alone.
You've never been.
These battles you've been fighting,
The scars they've left,
They make you human.
You might be a mess
But oh my, you're delightful,
The storms in your eyes,
and the silence in your voice,
You're an adventure I'd go on,
Again and again and again
Isn't it Ironic?
All your life,
All you've wanted is to find the right person.
The prefect piece to this mayhem of a puzzle that you are.
But never have you tried being it, have you?
Try being the calm, for the shit storm that his life has become
The warmth, for his coldest nights
The light in his darkest days
He yearns to be heard and understood and be taken care of just as much as you do
He seeks the love you dream of,
Don't just want.
Be the shelter in the storm, the warm fire on a cold scary night and the ray of sunlight on a cloudy day.
For getting what you want might bring you satisfaction
But giving back?
That my love, might just bring you a life.
Surprisingly, the ex...
He was good at it,
Making people believe he was happier, stronger than he actually was.
He was good at putting up a facade,
And that mask he had on?
Oh god! It barely gave anything away.
But his eyes?
His eyes carried a sad smile,
And if you looked close enough, you'd see his heart,
Scarred & Strong, bearing a reminder of wounds so deep, the ocean would be jealous.
And about everything else I might be wrong,
And I know he's not the happiest he pretends to be.
But that's the thing about people with broken hearts,
They've been burned to smoke and ash, devoured slowly only to be spat back out,
And despite the portability that suggests you're likely to ruin them too,
They'll give you their h...
A promise we made, looking each other in the eye.
What was left, ended in a sigh.
Not you, it's me you explained,
I love another, you exclaimed!
That day, you broke me, I cried.
Those were Long Nights, even Longer Days,
All I thought of was what went astray,
I wondered if you'd ever look me in the eye,
Today, I've grown,
Everyday, I realize you've left me scars I've never known,
Trust isn't easy, so isn't empathy.
I like someone else now,
But I don't think I can bow,
Those long nights and longer days,
I think had an ever lasting impact.
Tomorrow, I'll be better I'm sure.
Probably tell him our lore,
Maybe thank you for all the heartbreak...
That's the thing about falling for someone who is healing,
It's like walking into a dark tunnel,
You'll never know what's coming next,
But that's the thing about sacrifices too,
You don't make them with the hope of stepping out into the light together,
You make them so that they find their light at the end,
With you or without, it doesn't matter.
She taught me hope when I saw none,
She taught me how to smile when I had no reason to,
She taught me strength and all I wanted to do was hide
She taught me faith, when I lost mine
She held me up, when everyone else let me down,
She's a summer day, sunshine, warmth and fresh air,
I'm the older sister, and yet ironically, she's taught me how to live.
Isn't it suffocating ?
Being surrounded by all this happiness,
And yet all you feel is vacant
These walls you confine yourself to,
These boundaries you so adamantly follow,
They shelter you,
They make you feel safe,
Happy? Satisfied? Maybe not.
These rooms don't have doors, nor do these boundaries have a check point.
No way in, no way out
You remember what it felt like?
When there were no doors and no rules
Sure, you weren't safe, sure you were easy to break,
But you weren't empty and alone, were you?
Now, all you are is safe and wondering,
Wondering what It'd be like to take a chance. Again.
Possibly Break. Again
Worth it ?
You'd never know, would you?
You're still busy suffocating within the walls of your paradise.
He was like fire.
Bright, Unpredictable & Dangerous.
But I'd never want him to burn down,
I loved him. All of him.
The Light and the Dark,
The Life & the Destruction.
The Protection he brought, and the Dread too.
The Strength in the Flames he emits and the Weakness in the Ashes others miss.
He is the kind that I'd provide a hearth to.
The kind I'd walk into, embrace and burn with.
Mostly because he is warmth,
And I have been freezing my whole life.
I wonder what it feels like to have someone fall in love with you,
I mean all of you and not just the attractive nice little bits.
The way you talk a lot
The way you laugh too little,
The way every tiny thing makes you anxious,
The way you turn red and tear up everytime you're angry.
I wonder what it feels like to have someone love all your little bits and pieces, even the annoying unattractive ones.
I wonder how it is to have someone that believes in you more than you believe in yourself..
I wonder if it's true?
If such a love even exits?
A love that consumes you, all of you.
No questions asked.
Aiming at the sky, we miss out on the rainbows and the clouds.
Happiness is here today and forevermore.
All you have to do is look hard enough and have faith.
Don't give up.
You're not done yet.
It's not over yet.
You are not stuck.
You can recreate anything.
Think new thoughts, learn new things, breathe and feel.
You have a mind that can think and a heart that feels.
Even when everything else is gone. This will stay.
No one can take this from you.
Literally the only thing that matters is you decide today and never look back.
Remember, Impermanence is the only constant.
You know you're better than this.
Yet, all you want to do is run away, which is honestly not the solution.
Run all you want.
But your fears always will catch up to you. Always, until you learn how to not be scared of them anymore.
So I suggest you live through it. And live every bloody moment of it because you don't know when your last one is.
I dont care if the moment is a happy one or down right sad one.
I don't care if it makes you want to dance or cry your being out.
What I do care about is the fact that you're wasting away.
These thoughts, they don't belong here and for God's sakes don't let the universe know them.
The universe gives you exactly what you think. The s...
It is all a matter of perspective.
I might believe that mine is right, the other person believes theirs is, and all of our reasons are justified as well, disagreements I think happen when we fail to understand and accept the fact that the other person can have a different perspective than ours and it's okay to, it doesn't have to mean that they're right or you're wrong or vice versa you know?
Extremes I think are never good.
Our Brains and hearts should be balanced to be able to not only differentiate the right from wrong but also acknowledge it.
Extremes make us blind to atleast one of those mostly as per the convenience of the situation and our take on it..
Blind to suit ou...
One of the biggest misconceptions about pain is that a person chooses to keep focusing on it.
There are some kinds of sadness that instill themselves so deeply into our very beings that they become impossible to let go off. The most you can do, is learn to live with it.
I believe this pain, is just another way of your heart protecting itself, reminding you what you deserve or what you should to stay away from, like your own personal warning sign..
As time passes, this sadness becomes a part of us, I've noticed, it is almost like a companion that makes its appearance only when your heart again decides to take a leap of faith.
It is a gentle reminder, this happened the last ti...
I strongly believe that people we care for the most, always take us for granted.
They either do it intentionally because they just simply want us to keep away or sometimes unintentionally because they know we will always stick around..
Some of us, bless our hearts, will always stick around regardless. We will still stand with them, for them, by them, because we believe in them. Or simply because we are too weak to let go.
But what happens when sometimes we won't be around.. what when we grow enough balls to walk out,
Will they miss us? Will they value us then? Will they realise that we probably cared more for them than anyone ever did?
Do we matter enough to spend a atleas...
He was a paradox.
He was faithful yet detached
He was committed yet relaxed.
He was gentle, yet tough.
He loved everyone,yet no one.
He understood the silences between my words.
He knew precisely how hard to push when I was on the verge of making a bad decision.
He held me when I felt like I was breaking into pieces.
But God knows I pushed him away, a million times if not less, and he, he always made sure he was right there.
He made me laugh. And I don't mean a little chuckle or a giggle or a titter. The kind of laughs that command and consume you, that spreads like fire, the kind that reach your soul.
Sometimes it knocked the breath out of me, the fact that he stuck w...
He got me.
That's all it is.
Me, a whirlwind of a person, a mess of emotions;
He came in slowly, wrapped his his arms around me.
He made me feel like I belonged.
He made me feel understood.
And most of all, he made me feel secure.
And then he left.
No words. No explanations.
And it didn't matter if I held you for one night or a hundred,
It always felt the same, like those beautiful rainy mornings,
Good enough for a little bit, but not good enough to last.
This is for all of you out here, because there was a time I needed to hear these words and I didn't have anyone to say them to me, because there was a time I gave up.
Because you deserve to know that,
You're alive for a reason.
You're stronger than you think.
You're going to get through it.
I'm glad you're still alive.
Don't give up.
You're going to be somebody's favourite story someday,
And maybe it's not today or even tomorrow.
But one day every unturned page will be stained with coffee and will refuse to lay back the way they used to.
Yeah, someday someone is going to pick you up and never put you down.
When I looked back at my 2015, I clearly saw how the bad times meant everything.
How every moment that lead me to happiness revolved around darkness.
The darkness scared me most of the times, it took me to a place where I didn't know where it would go. I didn't know the end of it.
But then sometimes it lead me to beautiful things.
And then I realised that whats meant to be will always find its way.
And the harder it was to find happiness, the more I valued it.
And I'm glad I did.
So here's to another year of smiles and cries, tears of joy and anguish, lessons learnt and taught, to hoping and giving it up, to standing back up, to being strong and to survivin...
What if life is not about becoming something?
Maybe Life is everything about unbecoming.
Unbecoming everything that you are not, just so that you could be what you were meant to be in the first place..
What if this is how life works?