|You are better off without those empty promises, I promise you !|
I haven't been home for a little while now,
I'm far away ,
So far that you won't find me in places where I used to be,
Not in anyone's eyes , not in their hearts.
But you are different.
Your heart is forever and ever my home.
Your eyes hold the key to my heart.
20 years of being a part of this world,
20 years of counting days that led to nothing,
Never knew that this was all a part of being alive and breathing the shit around me,
I wasn't known for being strong and independent, Not ever, I wasn't brave, I wasn't anything worth calling an ideal human being , I'm still not .
The thing is I've always seen me this way. Where I need people around me to help me in this struggle of life , where I believed that I was nothing without the people in my life. And I loved the way I was. I always loved my life and the people in it.
But these days! I saw the real me, the hidden part of me. Because the people you needed the most, people you wanted the most could ...
I realise that I wasn't there. Never in your heart.
It was just me and my stupid mind.
My stupid hope. It was just me. It is just me. Me and only me.
I wonder why. But you can't snatch love and force it to stay right.
I hope you are doing well.
The story of me.
I don't feel angry. I don't feel confused. I don't feel lonely. I feel helpless.
The fact that I've lost you forever. That nothing can be changed . That you don't want me. Everything makes me want to walk away and stay forgotten for the rest of my life. But life just goes on right! I hope everything pass for good.
I hope you are happy.
The story of me.
I feel a massive weight in my chest while writing this , yet there is nothing but emptiness in my mind. Everywhere I look, everything I see, there is you.
The thought that everything's over and I won't get another chance ( though I never had one before) echos loud. If you ever come across my thought, just know that I'm always there with you, beside you, my prayers are always with you.
Stay happy and blessed.
The strong of me.
Please don't leave.
I don't want this to end.
Please don't let go of me.
So tell me, what happens to us? Was it all for nothing? Are you gonna tell me "this is life" and let me go? Beacuse that's not what I was hoping for. This is not how we are supposed to end. No, not ever. We deserve a chance at least! To try and make everything alright.
I Just wanted to write to you again beacuse I don't really know how long I'd be able to write to you and how long you'll be able to read and feel the same kinda emotions that I feel right now, while writing to you and thinking of you. The thing is I could see the end of our journey and every day brings us closer to it than yesterday. So what happens to our infinity? What happens to our forevers? Do we just leave t...
Maybe one day,
I'd tell you the story of a broken star,
A story that could never be written,
And then maybe you'll know me a little more,
And know why I never left.
Tell me the story of another 'we',
No, not this one. Not us.
Us in a different life,
Us who loved each other and weren't afraid to love and be loved,
Us who ended up together.
Probably in a different dimension, they must be watching and laughing at us!
Though it never lasted,
Though it ended too soon,
I'm forever thankful for such beautiful love that I've experienced,
Though it was only me myself,
I'm happy that I've got to see the depts of love with magical intensity.
I've seen love , the purest form of love, the bestest of all and have felt its warmth in my heart,
And the rhythm of my heartbeat resembles the rhythm of the lightest drizzle and the wildest storms that reminds you of Love,
And I'm lucky for that, because I've realised that such love seldom happens and I'm gifted to have felt it.
And I'm damn sure that I'll never face again with another of such love in the next ten lives.
And moreover, who get to fall in love with the same ...
Because sometimes, something's are not meant to stay,
No matter how much you want it and no matter how hard you try,
Beacuse its not just meant to.
Not ever and that's not your fault.
And don't be melancholic about it , maybe next time, maybe next life it will probably happen for sure.
Be faithful because that's all you could ever do.
Stay faithful and strong.
Ask me the number of times I remember you in a day,
I'd say, only once.
Once in my entire life,
Beacuse you came and never left.
So its one week past my leaving and I hope you miss me.
Well not 'me' really, the thought of me actually. The things that remind you of me , my presence. I invisibly watch you wish for me to come back, I watch you pray for my peaceful slumber. The night sky makes you weep but honey just let it be. You aren't ready to face the moon yet coz you know I'm somewhere amongst the million stars.
There you spot me, the one constantly winking at you , that tiny little one , a bit duller than the others. You know I don't shine that bright right!
I never did. But then agin I'm the closest one to you, as if you could touch me from this far but then, you can't. You won't ever be able to. Like...
Let us be honest with each other this time,
Because maybe this is going to be our last. Let's just keep aside our fears about the future and scream at each other what we really feel, what we really wanna say.
Let's just focus on this moments as if there is no tomorrow,
For just one time lets live the way our hearts desire.
Please do lets!
"This is gonna end".
My heart and brain said in unison.
And somewhere down there , I knew it too.
I don't know if we are meant to end up with each other,
But if we do, then I'd be the happiest person in the whole universe,
I know that!
Be my autumn leaf,
Join me in the wind,
Stay with me until we wither together.
For just one time pretend as if you're afraid of loosing me,
Give me a fake promise of hope,
I take deep breaths while writing this, my heart is a mess and it hurts. But don't worry, I'm breathing and I'm sure that this is gonna pass too. Slowly.So this is going to be my last letter to you I guess, beacuse things have changed over a night and I don't think I can go back and change anything ever again. But I just wanted to let you know a few things. A few little things that evolve around my little world. so here goes. First of all, thank you. Thank you for making me dream a life full of happiness and love and all those beautiful emotions. Thank you for making me believe in love once again and giving me reasons to live after so long. Thank you for bringing out the best i...
And then one day, I'll be forgotten. Slowly but one day for sure. There won't be a single trace of me left in you.
You'll forget me forever.
I'll never regret those days,
Those days I had you,
Those dreams, wishes, nothing.
I'm forever thankful,
Blessed to have spent a whole chapter of my life with you,
Even though it lasted only a few pages.
My whole story will be named after you.
No matter how far you are, no matter how distant our hearts are from the love we once had,
And no matter what happend between us,
Stay happy, laugh out loud, live the life you've dreamed of,
And just remember that this was all I've ever wanted,
Your happiness. No matter whom you are with. It was always about your happiness and always will be.
And somewhere far,
Away from your dreams,
Away from your world,
I'll be happy too,
Watching you smile with every bit of my broken heart,
Living the dreams we once shared.
From my diary.