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Momma Beard 🦸🏻‍♀️

PO# 624612
United States
United States
25 👑 | Momma of ✌️| Proverbs 46:5 🙏 | 🌻 | CollegeGrad 👩‍🎓| “I am enough” 🤗 | Wonder Woman 🦸‍♀️ | Girlfriend 💜 | Homeowner 🏡 | Pup momma! 🐶
July 26, 2020
Rockford, United States

They think they know me, but they don’t.

They’ve never taken the time to get to know me.

They’ve never spent the time to understand me.

They’ve never took the time to think outside the box.

But I’m realizing that it’s not my fault. It’s theirs.

I’m a strong woman.

I’m a strong mother.

I’m a strong girlfriend.

I know who I am, it took me a long time to figure myself out but I have.

That’s the thing, knowing yourself is a whole different level.

Drama has never been my thing.

So from here on out, I’m gonna live my life and let others do as they please.

If you believe what others tell you about me, that’s on you. It’s ultimately your lost because I’m a good person.

I don...

July 13, 2020

Pastor John Gray said “I am willing to step into other peoples reality so that I am able to feel what it’s like to be them. The challenge is, I don’t often see that coming the other way, because if there was ever empathy then we wouldn’t see this lack of humanity”

These words spoke right to me.

I feel so deeply for people and the situations they may go through or are going through.

I try so hard to help them and move mountains for some who wouldn’t bother to ask if I’m even okay.

My heart breaks for the lack of understanding people hold.

Pastor Gray definitely touched me this morning.

July 9, 2020

The questions I ask myself all the time is "Why are you not good enough? Why is the world always so against you? Why does everybody hate you?"

The problem I've learned is my anxiety is constantly on 10.
The problem I've learned is my feeling doesn't get hurt my heart does. I take things way to personal and I make it into something most of the time it isn't.

The problem isn't others, its me.
Im not good enough because I make myself not good enough.

I am always there for others, and I think about other before myself. I always check in and make sure my family is okay and good and they don't need anything. I do without asking, and I expect nothing in return. I just want my family ...

June 25, 2020

The fact is, disrespect is everywhere.

I can't hide from it. I can't ignore it. I can't avoid it. Nothing i do will stop it.

Everywhere I look its there.

So the question is, what do I do? How do I handle this anger that is inside me? How do I keep my mind straight?

Because this isn't just about me anymore. Its about my kids too, and im suppose to be their protector.

So tell me... How?

June 13, 2020

Why is it that I’d bend over backwards for someone who wouldn’t do that same?

Why is it I care about theirs feelings and opinions when they don’t care about mine?

Why is it that I’m always the one who is honest and upfront, when I don’t get the same in return.

Why is it I’m worried about being respectful and caring when I’m not receiving the same in return?

I’m so overly done with life.

I’m to the point depression isn’t even where accurate, it’s beyond that.

June 8, 2020

Growing up, all I wanted to do was make you proud.

All I wanted was a relationship with you where you accepted me for who I was.

But when I graduated high school with a 4.0 you resented me.

When I had my first baby and didn’t need you, you hated me.

When I didn’t need you anymore, you left me in the dust.

When I graduated college, you made fun of me.

When I bought my house, you were jealous of me.

This “relationship”.... it’s never been a parent-child relationship. Not even in the beginning.

I was never good enough, never. No matter how hard I tried.

I did things differently, my mind set wasn’t the same. My life choices never went down the same path as yours.

Most parents ...

May 31, 2020

Colts vs Vikings tickets bought ✔️
Outfits bought (picked out) ✔️
Hotel reserved
PTO scheduled

We are half way ready!

And to be honest I’m kinda excited!

This is my next goal! 2020 isn’t gonna be all bad, there is gonna be some light in all of my darkness!

The Vikings hasn’t played the Colts since 2014! The year I met my Love!

Best part, the oldest Beard Baby is going with us!

Finally, something to look forward too.

May 29, 2020

My problem is I don’t process things.

I just turn to things that make me feel better.

Shopping, shopping makes me feel better.

My shorts were delivered today.

And my Poshmark order is scheduled for tomorrow delivery.

May 26, 2020

I’d really like to know what I did to all of these people.

Like what did I do for you to treat me this way?

Was I too nice?

Was I too caring?

Was I too open and friendly?

What did I do?

I’d like to know what I did to my family... And to my “friends”...

Like what did I do?

Because I’ve been stabbed in the back so many times I can’t even count them anymore.

I’ve been nice and helpful to so many who didn’t deserve it.

I’ve been a shoulder to people who could careless about me.

What did I do wrong.

May 25, 2020

I tell myself the things I feel is silly.

I tell myself I’m being over dramatic and emotional.

I tell myself it’s nothing to fret about.

I tell myself that, how I feel is just all in my head.

I do this because my feelings, my emotions, my worth... never really meant anything to anyone.

When I voice my feelings they are shrugged off with “that’s all in your head. Come on now. Get real, Amber! Your just trying to start drama”.

When I voice my feelings, people make me feel like I’m wrong and I should just live by their opinions.

So eventually, I just learned to shove my feelings down and disregard them. Nobody else cared about them, so why should I?

But now, now I have this man. ...

May 15, 2020

Let’s be honest.

I’m never gonna be good enough.

For nobody.

Not for my family.
Not for my friends.
Not for any man.
Not even for my kids.

So, why try?

Why put myself out there to get hurt? Why?

Because if I’m being honest, I’ve cried myself to sleep for two days now.

May 8, 2020


What’s that?

Can you be selfish when your a single mother?

Does that even exist?

Do I even deserve that?

Can I be selfish?

Wait, no!

I can’t be.

It’s not for me.


I wish I knew you better.

April 19, 2020

“You got the right one
You got the right one
I just really hate you
All that game you've been running
Now it's time that I played you
And why I let you do me
Like a door wide open you ran right through me
But you done find the right one nigga
Fuck you and all that
Blast on Twitter then I'ma blast back
You want a ratchet then I'ma be that
Don't make me call my boys and have yo shit peeled back
Oh you really don't know how you making me feel
You make me wanna kill a man
Oh you really gonna make me show you how I feel
You got the right one, nigga
You got the right one
You got the right one
Damn, I really hate you
I'ma say it again cause the truth is I made you
Now you out here fronting
When you ...

April 2, 2020

"I bet you're from out West somewhere
Hazel eyes and dark brown hair
And everything you wear fits you just right
I bet you drink martinis dry
And never let him see you cry
I bet you're more promiscuous than I
I bet you're bold, I bet that's why
You seem to occupy his mind
I bet you're smart
But do you know about me?
(Is it you?)
Is it me? Is it you?
Tell me who
Who's the other girl?
Who's the first? Who's the fool?
Who's the diamond? Who's the pearl?
Are you mad? Me too
And I wonder in his world
Is it me? Is it you?
Who's the other girl?
Who's gonna put on the red dress
Scarlet letter on her chest
Can't love with this on her conscience
Tell me who's the other girl, girl...

February 17, 2020

“Don't you dare try and reappear
After you already got me standing here
I can't believe you would come at me looking for
A little bit of sympathy
Like I wasn't the one you left all alone crying
Looking like a hot mess
Don't show your face 'round here anymore honey
This is something you better get through your head
'Cause I'm giving you up
Just like I did them Marlboro Lights
And I'm giving you up
The same way I did the whiskey on ice
And it's all so tough
You turn me into a man I don't even recognize
I'm giving you up
The same way you did me out in the moonlight
What the hell are you thinking coming 'round to visit
Completely uninvited messing with my brain again
Couldn't give me the satisfac...

February 13, 2020

“I do my hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin'?
Feeling good as hell
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin'?
Feeling good as hell
Woo child, tired of the bullshit
Go on dust your shoulders off, keep it moving
Yes Lord, tryna get some new shit
In there, swimwear, going to the pool shit
Come now, come dry your eyes
You know you a star, you can touch the sky
I know that it's hard but you have to try
If you need advice, let me simplify
If he don't love you anymore
Just walk your fine ass out the door
I do my hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin'?
Feeling good as hell
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin'?
Feeling good as hell
Feeling good as hell
Baby how you feelin...

January 31, 2020

I think I'll take a moment celebrate my age
End of an era and the turning of a page
Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next twenty five years
In my next twenty five years I'm gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done
Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next twenty five years
My next twenty five years I'm gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I'm doin' here in my next twenty five years
For my next twenty five years I'm gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late

January 30, 2020

I write because it makes me feel like someone is finally listening.

- or am I finally listening to myself

January 13, 2020

I wish I could tell you things will get better... but they won’t

I wish I could tell you it gets easier... but it won’t.

I wish I could tell you that you’ll be okay... but you won’t be.

Everything from this moment on will forever be different.

The way you smile, the way you love, the way you cry, the way you hurt, the way you feel.... it will all be different.

Nothing will ever be the same. Everything has changed.

You just adapt and find a way to keep pushing on.

I be here though. Always.

I’ll always be here. No matter what.

Because that’s what family is for. Because I’m in your corner.

Cry and let it all out, don’t hold it in.

Shed a few tears, release the stress, the p...

December 31, 2019

“Late one night headin' on home
Drivin' too fast, radio on
Huggin' that curve a little to tight
Now he's hangin' on for his life
Upside down and all alone
Hopin' he could reach his phone
80 years old watchin' TV
All of a sudden it's hard to breathe

She tries to get up then hits the ground
Wheel of fortune spins around
Sends up a prayer, thought this is it
As she pushed the button around her neck

They're the ones behind the scenes
Every day and night
That friendly voice you need to hear
When you're fighting for your life
Not every angel wears their wings
But they're always there for you and me

To them it's just a job after all
When they answer the call

"911, what's your emergency?
She said...

December 30, 2019

“Hey Momma, how do you get a red wine stain
Out of your favorite dress?
Black mascara off a pillow case?
Cure a one-too-many headache?
Momma can I come and maybe stay a few days
This weekend or next?
And hey, how do you get a red wine stain
Out of your favorite dress
How does he sleep at night?
Momma, the nerve of this guy
To leave me so easy
Am I gonna be alright?
I wanna kick myself for falling so hard
Momma, can you die from a broken heart?
Can you ask Daddy if he's got time
To come and look at my front door
It got slammed last night
And now it don't close right
And just promise that you won't tell him everything
And keep that pistol in the drawer
Momma, please don't say
I'm gonna laugh ab...

December 12, 2019

“Daddy, I'm afraid, won't you stay a little while?
Keep me safe 'cause there's monsters right outside
Daddy, please don't go, I don't wanna be alone
'Cause the second that you're gone they're gonna know
Before he went to bed he grabbed my hand and said
Just 'cause I'm leavin'
It don't mean that I won't be right by your side
When you need me
And you can't see me in the middle of the night
Just close your eyes and say a prayer
It's okay, I know you're scared when I'm not here
But I'll always be right there
Even though I'm leavin', I ain't goin' nowhere
Dad, we'll be late, and Uncle Sam don't like to wait
He's got a big old plane that's gonna take me far away
I know I act tough, but there's a ch...

December 11, 2019

“Dear today, tomorrow here
Man I was just checkin' in
Hope you've been well
Me, I'm doin' alright
Could always be better
Seeing as you're the only one with a choice in the matter
If I know you, hell, you're too busy
To do damn near anything that you ought to
Guess what I'm sayin' is, is if you don't change
Boy, you'll be kickin' yourself one of these days
So maybe you should call our mama
Have a drink with our old man
Quit wastin' our sweet time
And put that diamond on her hand
Stop takin' me for granted
Like I'll always be around
'Cause even as you read this, boy, that clock is tickin' down
And remember every second I've got's borrowed
So I hope you think of me today
Sincerely, tomorrow

November 29, 2019

“I can see you're disappointed
By the way you look at me
And I'm sorry that I'm not
The woman you thought I'd be

Yes, I've made my mistakes
But listen and understand
My mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I'm a woman

So when you look at me
Don't feel sorry for yourself
Just think of all the shame
You might have brought somebody else

Just let me tell you this
Then we'll both know where we stand
My mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I'm a woman

No, my mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I'm a woman”

- Dolly

November 12, 2019

“Don't waste your life behind that guitar
You may get gone, but you won't get far
You're not the first, you won't be the last
And you can tell us all about it when you come crawling back
That road you're on, just winds and winds
Your spinning your wheels and wasting you're time
But when the lights come up
And I hear the band
And where they said I'd never be is exactly where I am
I hear the crowd
I look around
And I can't find an empty chair
Not bad for a girl goin' nowhere
I get these calls, out on the road
Heard your song on my radio
We always said you'd make it big
And I tell all my friends, I knew you back when
So don't forget all us little folks
And when you crash and burn
Remember we tol...